This morning I, and many other moms at the church I attend, was blessed by the wisdom of some more experienced mentor moms. These women have served our Mom to Mom Bible study in so many ways and this morning they opened their hearts to us and shared some of their Christian parenting insight.
Now I’m sharing their insight with you… because they shared some pretty good stuff!
I’ll confess that I’ve taken the lazy route this evening and just pretty much transcribed their words for you. (Hope that’s okay.)
They shared their favorite tidbits for parenting, keeping your marriage a priority, keeping your family a priority and keeping the Lord the priority.
Read on and enjoy…
What do you know now that you wish you knew then?
You don’t have to say “yes” to everything… often “no” is really the better answer
Sometimes your child just needs you to hold her and empathize with her rather than make everything a teaching moment
How can I keep growing in Christ?
Stay connected to God and other moms through a mom-oriented Bible study.
Release yourself from guilt when you aren’t able to keep up lengthy personal study and devotional time and grab prayer and worship moments when you can.
Find someone who is older, who has been there, to regularly pray with you.
It may be difficult to find God time, but it’s more difficult to raise children without it.
How can I nurture my child/ children’s relationships with the Lord?
Host breakfast-time devotionals using a book to guide you. If you make it a part of the plan, it will work. We started in preschool, but I wish I would have started earlier.
Point out God in everyday moments
Read the children’s version of The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan to each of your children
What is a favorite Bible verse that has been special to you in your mothering?
“I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13
“I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8 (Particularly helpful with a child afraid to sleep alone)
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,” Ephesians 3:20 (God has a bigger plan than we can imagine. Let this comfort you when you child doesn’t “get” what you want him to. Perhaps something better is in store.)
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,” Colossians 3:23 (Maybe I’m just changing diapers. But this little baby may grow up to do great things. And if I am just helping her to do that, then that is enough.)
“But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”3 John1:4
What unique ideas do you have for keeping my marriage a priority?
Don’t divide and conquer all the errands, birthday parties or child commitments: Do some together so you’ll have that time together. Just riding around together gives you time to visit.
On your husband’s day off, try to make the day all about him and your family. Don’t do the homemaking jobs then.
Be strategic and plan! Every January my husband and I go away for 1 night alone. We bring our calendars and spiral notebooks and plan the year. We talk about what we want our family to be like that year: Will we ride bikes? What new things do we want to do or let go? Then we plan 3 more times for just the two of us to get away and 4 times for our whole family to get away alone together and just enjoy each other. This way, we go back and have the important things planned and can say no to less important things. No, we don’t always keep all the dates we plan, but we really weigh our options when we drop a planned family or couple time. We try to really think about the big picture when we accept invitations or turn them down. And it is okay to turn things down.
Don’t forget to take care of your husband and not just your children. The little things really make a difference. When he is in the shower in the morning I’ll often go get his coffee so it is waiting for him on the counter when he gets out. We are always getting things for each other to be polite. And I always set out a glass of iced tea when I know he’s coming home. It just says to him that I’m glad he’s home and I’m ready for him. Sometimes, but not always, on a cold morning I might throw his towel in the dryer while he’s in the shower so it’ll be warm for him when he comes out. And sometimes those warm towel mornings turn into a lot of fun…
I agree. It’s important to have those ‘cozy’ moments, too. And spice things up a bit. One time I wore a wig with long hair just for my husband…
As your kids get older and are sometimes away, don’t always use those moments to get things done. Drop your tasks and just enjoy time with your husband. If there is something that MUST be done, make a deal with him: “If you help me get this job done quickly, then we’ll have more time to enjoy each other…”
What is the best mommy tip you’ve ever received?
By the time they reach junior high, don’t take responsibility for your children’s rooms. Just close the door.
Spend time alone (about 20 minutes) with each child at bedtime. In middle school, especially, they have so much to tell you that they may not want to tell you. But sometimes it’s easier for them in the dark. I did this even through high school.
Your children learn what you teach them. I wanted to teach my children that it is good to have guests over. But soon I was teaching them that having guests over was stressful because of all the preparation. I had to rethink my actions and teach them that visitors are a joy and not a burden that adds pressure.
Always have a snack after school, even up through high school. I would have a snack waiting for them when they came in the door after school. This opened the door for us to just sit and talk for awhile. And it made them feel more welcome. Plus, right after school they are usually starving, so it is an especially good time to give them lots of fruit and veggies they might hesitate on at other times! My kids brought friends home from college who had heard about my snack time. Create this moment.
Birthday letters. Since about age 8, on each child’s birthday everyone else in the family writes the birthday person an encouraging letter. Then we read them out loud at dinner on the birthday and give them to the birthday person. We also do it on Mothers Day and Fathers Day.
Teach your children good manners.
Stop folding the underwear!
What does the voice or prompting of the Holy Spirit sound like?
It is constant, as he will continue until you submit.
It will be quiet.
It will come from unknown places.
It will always be consistent with the scripture.
It is like this: “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” John 3:8 It will come unexpectedly and unpredictably and it will provide unexplainable comfort.
How should I handle a situation where a very close friend of family-member parents in a different way than I do and I disagree with her/ him?
If you are in a situation you don’t agree with, just leave. Don’t make a big deal of it, just find a way to get your family out.
You can turn it into a learning experience at a later moment. Be sure not to label the other style as bad or the other person as bad, though. Because if you do, your child will repeat it and it will come back to you.
Pray, asking for guidance, and wait.
Sometimes kids are glad to have you ‘save’ them from difficult situations.
If you are concerned about your child becoming friends with an unruly child with whom he wants to be friends, invite the child over and see how it goes under your roof with your rules. At the end of the playdate, your child just might realize, on his own, that the friendship may not be the best.
If you must confront a friend, use “I” language. “I’m concerned about how are children play together. What can WE do about it?”
Ask questions and don’t assume. It took a few playdates for me to realize my child was at a friend’s house without a parent home. When I talked to the other mom about it, she seemed irritated that it should bother me. So we just invited the friend to play at our house where I knew there would be supervision. Yes, there was some uncomfortable times, but it was worth it.
Hope you enjoyed their words… I know I sure did! This afternoon already I was inspired to make snack time a lot more fun for the kids. They felt special and I enjoyed it, too. (And all I did was pop popcorn and sprinkle on some flavoring)
Can’t wait to put more of these ideas into practice.
What about you? Did any of their insights really speak to you? Or do you have more to add? Please share!
And for more mom tips, check out It’s Almost Naptime.
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