SOAP: Frankness is better than flattery

Scripture: Proverbs 28:23

In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery.

Observation: I am guessing God must want us to be honest and frank rather than empty flatterers or praisers.

Application: I see two applications, here.

Application One: God doesn’t want us to just praise Him, he wants our heart to be in the praise. If we are saying wonderful things about Him, He wants us to truly feel those things with our heart. No empty praise allowed. (This is the much easier application.)

Application Two: Yes, the Bible also tells us that encouragement is powerful and a good thing. But encouragement is very different than simple flattery. And when someone asks or needs guidance, flattery isn’t going to help. Frankness will.

A few weeks ago I sought out some parenting advice from a respected relationship counselor who also happens to be my friend.

I explained my challenges, he asked a few questions and then he asked a question that, at first, seemed light but I realized later was quite a conviction in my parenting. And, ouch, it hurt.

But he was right. And he was right to share the truth with me, not just say “Oh, you’re such a great parent and boys are boys and he’ll grow out of it.”

He shared what he thought might be a true solution to my problem even though it might hurt me.

And I am so very grateful to him for that.

I do want to point out here that I asked for guidance and received frankness. He didn’t just come up and share the information without me asking. I do not think this verse tells us to run around telling people what to do. But when asked, I do believe frankness is much more appreciated than flattery.

I hope to remember this verse the next time someone asks me for input so that I will be tactfully, yet completely, honest.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for your guidance in our relationships with you and others. Through these Proverbs, and through the rest of your Word, it is obvious that you want us to live in honoring ways and that you understand all the social politics we deal with here on earth.

Thank you for my friend who was honest with me, and for the changes I have made and seen since then.

Please be with me and all those reading this today. Frankness can be tough. Help us all to put our trust in you and seek your guidance, even while in conversation with others, so that our conversations and input might be honoring to you, Lord.