Seeking grump slump advice from the more experienced moms…

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by

Amy
in

This afternoon and evening have not been the most joyful.

I do love my family and have a lot to be thankful for, but, ugh, today still held more frustrations than I would have preferred.

Since I know that there are a lot of MomsToolbox and Bible in 90 Days readers out there who have a lot more wisdom in the “mothering small children” chapter, I’d love tap into some of that wisdom.

My children are 5, 8 and almost 9. They are typically well-behaved and, to be honest, I’ve got a pretty good gig going on in my life with an awesome husband and a comfortable lifestyle.

But today I just want to take a break.

We went to the pool to try to make the most of the last days of summer and THAT didn’t even work. The kids were cranky. I was cranky. And I came home absolutely unmotivated to make dinner. So I retreated to my room with a magazine and closed the door. I left some pistachios on the table and told the kids to go for it as long as they cleaned up after themselves.

After awhile I realized dinner had to come (And I had planned to make a meal everyone likes) so I came out, made dinner and smiled.

I’m still feeling kind of blah and I don’t want to feel this way.

I want to be kind and loving and forgiving. I know my attitude sets the tone and I don’t want to be a grump… but sometimes, to be honest, I just feel grumpy.

Anyone have any tips?

For those in this chapter right now: How do you get yourself out of a grump slump?

And for those who have been here: Please share some wisdom!!

Thanks, y’all, for letting me be real. And thanks for your tips to come. I think I need to go make some chocolate chip cookies…

Comments

11 responses to “Seeking grump slump advice from the more experienced moms…”

  1. Nicole Ross Avatar
    Nicole Ross

    This so happened to me yesterday! I was so annoyed with my kids (3 years and 5 mos.) Baby was teething, 3 year old running around getting into everything! A friend called and invited us to the pool. It was a welcomed break out of the house to do something fun and burn off that energy my son had. I find that I get annoyed when I’m trying to multi-task. I’ve learned that my children are not interuptions…they are what I am here for! So sorry, no advice. I’m right there in the trenches with you!
    Nicole

    Reply
  2. chicks3 Avatar
    chicks3

    Everyone (even moms) has grumpy days. You are human. Try to schedule in some time just for yourself–go shopping, see a movie, lunch with friends, etc. Is there a grandma nearby?

    Reply
  3. Susan Avatar
    Susan

    My kids are 18 and 7. Trust me–I’ve been there. I’m STILL there some days! ;)

    Things I have found that really help me–1) having a hobby of some sort that I enjoy. Even if I hardly get to do it, at times it can be SO relaxing. I do quilting, and I cannot tell you how much I enjoy finishing ONE quilt block, and being able to look at it and think how pretty the colors are. I never have as a goal to finish a QUILT, only one block. And it is something that stays done, unlike laundry, meals, housecleaning. I think that is what I enjoy about it so much. I can make one quilt block, and come back to it next month and I still have that one quilt block finished! :)
    Another thing I have found 2) is exercise. It helps me like a antidepressant drug would. I am not at all in perfect shape, but I do not exercise for perfection–I exercise for my mood! Usually just 30 minutes walking in the morning. My hubby and I go to a nearby health club where we can walk even when it is dark outside. Fortunately, we have that 18 year old as a built in baby sitter at home!

    I also have found 3) a therapy light so helps me. I have a small, therapy light that I sit in front of each morning as I do my Bible reading. It is a drug free way of helping to treat mild depression which does run in my family. I feel so much more energized when I am using my light, and really notice the difference when I skip it for any reason.

    Last of all, my dear sweet mother-in-law told me once that 4) every mother should have her own personal stash of chocolate! :O She was probably around age 78 when she told me this. My husband was shocked! He says to me “I never knew my MOM had her stash of chocolate. . . !) ;) I thought that was good advice indeed!

    Hugs to you, Amy!

    Reply
  4. Avatar
    Anonymous

    (hugs)
    Oh my word… I have been there.
    Two things I found last week that have PROFOUNDLY impacted me (and I am going to post a blog about them today — I will link to you somehow when it’s done) —
    The first:
    A Post of Christina Fox’s — “Love is Grace” (www.toshowthemJesus.com/2011/08/03/love-is-grace

    And then:
    I can’t find the source to quote or give credit, but it feels like Ann Voskamp–

    Speaking of our children:
    Paraprhase: The more repellant you find their behavior, that is the time to draw as close to them as you can. The taller they are, the closer you need to get.

    And this simple statement has RADICALLY changed the tone of our days here… When I am grumpy, everything sets me off. So when my five year old is just annoying me because he is talking and jumping up and down, I just reach over, grab him, and pull him on my lap and hold him for awhile, and try to savor each moment, since I know that they will be gone far too soon, and all of a sudden, I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

    The grumps might come back again in an hour — especially if the cause is lack of sleep, (common with a 16 month old) but, then I just scoop him up again and tickle him… and the laughter soothes all rough edges. :)

    Hang in there, and THANK you for being real.
    <3 y0u!

    Reply
  5. Avatar
    Anonymous

    (hugs)
    Oh my word… I have been there.
    Two things I found last week that have PROFOUNDLY impacted me (and I am going to post a blog about them today — I will link to you somehow when it’s done) —
    The first:
    A Post of Christina Fox’s — “Love is Grace” (www.toshowthemJesus.com/2011/08/03/love-is-grace

    And then:
    I can’t find the source to quote or give credit, but it feels like Ann Voskamp–

    Speaking of our children:
    Paraprhase: The more repellant you find their behavior, that is the time to draw as close to them as you can. The taller they are, the closer you need to get.

    And this simple statement has RADICALLY changed the tone of our days here… When I am grumpy, everything sets me off. So when my five year old is just annoying me because he is talking and jumping up and down, I just reach over, grab him, and pull him on my lap and hold him for awhile, and try to savor each moment, since I know that they will be gone far too soon, and all of a sudden, I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

    The grumps might come back again in an hour — especially if the cause is lack of sleep, (common with a 16 month old) but, then I just scoop him up again and tickle him… and the laughter soothes all rough edges. :)

    Hang in there, and THANK you for being real.
    <3 y0u!

    Reply
  6. Stephanie Avatar
    Stephanie

    My kids are 5, 7, and 10 (tomorrow). I understand exactly how you feel. I think it’s the way we find out we’re not taking care of ourselves and we need a break. I believe every mom goes through these instances because it’s in our nature to take care of our loved ones first. We just need to take a break every once in a while. I enjoy walking by myself, it helps me clear my head and get away from the repetitve “mom…”

    Reply
  7. Lisa B Avatar
    Lisa B

    There must have been something in the air because I could have ran away fast today. I just wanted to think and concentrate on what I was doing for 5 minutes and I even tried to use the tv to distract my kids! I finally realized that it just was not going to happen. So out the door I scooted everyone including myself. We went to the barn and visited all the animals, picked some weeds in the garden and ran around in crazy circles. Then we came inside and had lunch and they gave me my 5 minutes of peace. Then it picked back up again so outside we went and I took them on a walk and we went to visit grandma. Timed it just right so we got home about same time as daddy and gratefully!!! he took over. We had leftover pizza and sandwiches for dinner!

    Reply
  8. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    I think you did what was best. My girls are almost 6, 7 and 10, so I can definitely relate. Sometimes you just need a mommy time out and have to “fake it ’til you make it.” Your kids are definitely old enough to fend for themselves for food (so what if it’s not a gourmet meal) and to stay out of trouble long enough for you to have some “me” time in your room. Praying, reading, and even taking a nap can work wonders for my attitude. Oh, and exercise (which I don’t use as a stress reliever nearly enough!)

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      Thank you, Laura. :) It’s nice to know I’m not the only one. And yes, I need to get back on that exercise train!!!

      Reply
  9. Ruthie Avatar
    Ruthie

    God created earth from a starting point of rest. First He rested, then He created the light…day 1.
    You know, satan can work on us when we’re tired or grumpy and make us feel worse as if we shouldn’t ever have a bad day when the truth is, sometimes we do! I think when we are grumpy we most likely need a mental, physical, or emotional break, so we should simply take one. You can’t buy food at a store with empty shelves, right? The same is true for us, we have to stock our “shelves” with what we need to keep the inventory up so when others come looking for something, we have it to give.
    Take some time to pray, rest and just be in God’s presence, fill yourself up with His good, get enough rest at night and don’t be so hard on yourself if you are having a rough day. Just stock your shelves so your family can get what they need from a mom who has taken good care of herself.

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      Thank you, Ruthie! And yes, I do need to restock a bit. And rest in His presence instead of trying to go, go, go.

      Reply

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