Becoming a working mom: Am I the only one feeling the tinges of guilt while I juggle?

This summer I began to feel the tinges of being a working mom. And it was really hard for me to reconcile.

But, then again, quitting my job to become a mom, and then being that mom was hard for me, too.

Let me back up. But just a bit.

We aren’t going back to all of the adjusting to being a mom  stuff in the first place. But I will say that before I was a mom I LOVED my full time job. I got to be the PR Director for the Children’s Museum of Houston and I LOVED that job. I loved writing press releases. I love pitching stories. I loved learning the subject matter of every exhibit and sharing it with reporters. I loved being interviewed on TV, on the radio and in print. And I loved designing the museum’s first website. (Yes, 11 years ago.)

Did I say I loved my job? I did. And almost anywhere I went, someone had something to say about it and every now and then I was ‘recognized’ and felt a tiny bit of celebrity. (Okay a super tiny bit. I wasn’t really a celebrity. But it was fun to have people look at me and think they knew me but not know why and then I’d  say “Did you watch Neighborhood Weather on Channel 2 this morning?” and then they’d say “yes!” and realize I was the one playing with all those exhibits or whatever.)

So when my life changed from being the one who had a cool job where people liked to talk to me, to the one holding a baby spitting up on me and who didn’t have anyone around to have grown-up conversations with all day, it took some adjusting. A lot.

And now, this summer, 11 years later, the tables turned again.

No, I didn’t head back to full time employment in the traditional sense. But, in addition to three blogs, I have been building a business with my husband as my advisor for about two years now. This summer things started to get more intense, more real and a whole lot more work needed to be done.

So we paid for wonderful babysitters whom we have loved and trusted for many years to take our children to do many of the fun things I had been doing with them until this summer. I needed to get work done. And that was what had to happen, unless I wanted to attempt to exist without sleep. (That’s never a good idea.)

But handing money to a babysitter and asking her to take my daughter ice skating, or all three of my children out to mini golf, or to get frozen yogurt or go shopping at the bookstore was really awkward for me.

My husband reminded me that this is just one season, that this is what needs to happen now, and he is right. But it was still awkward for me.

I hated missing out, but I also felt very thankful that I had the means to do that so I could get work done and my kids could still have a blast. And I was also thankful that we had plenty of good times together throughout the summer, too.

And I don’t think I’m alone in this feeling. Am I?

For all you moms out there juggling work and motherhood, whether you work out of your home or in your home, I’d love to hear from you. How do you juggle? Do you feel these icky tinges? And how do you reconcile guilt and everything else that comes with that juggling?

This is a no judgement zone. And I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories and tips, if you’re up for sharing.

Anyone else out there trying to juggle, too?