Today is the third installment of this week’s Real (Experienced) Mom. If you haven’t read her story yet, be sure to click back and read part one, and part two.
Now, here’s part three:
Did you establish or follow any family traditions with your children that you especially cherished… then or now? Tell me about a few of your favorites.
A tradition that we did at Christmas involved a stuffed felt nativity. There were so many ‘no touch’ things at Christmas that I made a nativity set they could use. The first year I got them done I was still sewing Baby Jesus on Christmas Eve. He came just in time. Every year after, Jesus could not make an appearance until Christmas. We used the to act out the Christmas story before any presents were opened. It still comes out .
We did not “do” Halloween but the guys did get treats. We had our first fire of the season in the fireplace and turned off all the lights. As they got older they did youth group activities.
How did you celebrate birthdays with your children?
Birthdays were awesome.
We incorporated a tour into each birthday that went with the current interest of the birthday boy. We did art museums, TV stations, fire stations, police (they even got locked up for a while). We did behind scenes at the library, the grocery store, McDonald’s. The best one was probably the Air Guard where eight eight year olds got to sit in a fighter plane.
These have to be planned in advance and it’s better to say you have a group that are interested in planes (or whatever) than to say you want to bring 8 squirrelly kids in to shake up their day. We were rarely turned down. We brought them treats. It didn’t cost anything and wouldn’t be the same theme as the neighbor’s party. My husband, who had been an art teacher, always created the cake (Think Ace of Cakes on TV) to go with the theme. The number of kids invited went up to eight when they were eight and then decreased. We still had four others of our own to bring on the tour!
What were some of your family’s favorite things to do together when you had preschoolers? Elementary-school age children? High schoolers? Now?
When the guys were small, the fun was easier. Just going outside or to the park was big. They liked to put on costumes and pretend. I made Batman and Robin capes that the boys wore for days on end. One insisted on wearing the cape to school. The teacher asked him to remain in cape to protect the class. (yea!)
As they got older, art and building projects were ways to involve the whole family. Sports took up a lot of time. There were just so many boys and different age levels.
When summer hit we tried to give a healthy balance to activity. I used the verse from Luke 2:52 as a guide. “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”
I tried to plan one thing from four guidelines: educational, physical, spiritual and relational.
- Educational was book club at the library or an art class.
- Physical was tennis or baseball or swimming (the list goes on). We tried to incorporate both group and individual sports to develop team work and sportsmanship and also things that they could do when they were alone.
- Spiritual was Bible school or memorizing verses or passages of Scripture.
- Relational involved service to others. When they were young we went to the nursing home. The residents love to interact with small children (be sure to feed them first so they are in a good mood). As they got older, baking cookies, mowing lawns and babysitting for free. They got as much as they gave and I see it in them today. As they got into older grades I asked them to evaluate their activities this way to maintain balance.
Now, games, movies, eating and projects occupy our times when they come home. We play a lot of table games (which involves a lot of food). We’ve started playing Bocce Ball in our new location. The uneven landscape makes it a great laugh for us all. I really do throw like a girl. The guys like projects, from sheet rocking the garage to sewing backpacking gear. There is always a great deal of activity when they come home. Everyone lives about 3 hours away from us so we can have an assortment of them home for weekends or holidays.
What memories of their youth do you think your children recall most fondly now?
They seem to remember the oddest things. The main topic of conversation one holiday was how I tried to fool them and still stay on a food budget. They begged for Frosted Flakes. I knew that a box would go in one breakfast and they were so much more money than corn flakes. Finally, I bought the “box” they wanted so badly. After the went to bed, I mixed the Frosted Flakes with two boxes of corn flakes and filled up the “box” with the mix. It lasted way longer than I had told them (as I refilled it each day) so they kept asking. Only later did they realize that I was stretching them. This is what they thought of 20 years later.
Another was my marketing plan for hand me downs. They were put away into boxes marked “The Grow In To Box’. When they were big enough they, too, could wear these special clothes. They are amazed to see the reality of wearing old clothes as chore. The times around the table are full of remember when and laughter. I love having them home.
Tomorrow we’ll close out the interview of Valerie. I hope you’ve enjoyed her beautiful insight and ideas. Tomorrow we’ll read about a few things she’s proud of, a few things she regrets and her advice to moms, among other things…
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