I love the way the internet can bring people together.
Not too long ago I was tweeting about my love of Global Media Outreach, when my tweet was retweeted and a relationship was born between two previous strangers.
I have never met Judy in person (although, interestingly, we do know and cherish several of the same people!), but I have already been inspired by her in many ways and hope to meet her in person one day.
Many of you might already know of her, as she serves as the Director of Women’s Resources for Campus Crusade for Christ, serving alongside her husband to lead the organization worldwide. She says her God-assigned role is to to love and encourage CCC staff around the world. Her preferred activities are listening, speaking and writing. I think you’ll agree that she does those well, as many other things.
Please meet Real (Experienced) Mom, Judy Douglass
What are the approximate ages of your children now?
- Debbie, 30, is married to Nick.
- Michelle, 28, is married to Brad.
- Joshua, 28, is married to Brandon (yes, a girl)
Do you have grandchildren?
Delightfully so—4 of them:
- Madison, Josh’s stepdaughter, is 8.
- Debbie has 3 boys—Carter, 4; Aidan, 3; and Ethan, 19 months
What are some of the qualities that you admire in your children?
Many things.
Debbie is an amazing mom—calm, consistent, fun-loving. I love watching her with her boys.
Michelle listens so well—and gives very wise advice.
Joshua, who came to us at 9 from a difficult background, has become a hard-working, responsible man.
How much of their personality now was a part of them as children?
A fair amount with the girls.
Debbie has always been driven, goal-oriented, disciplined, organized. Those characteristics are still with her, though they are softer with the children. She is more relaxed.
Michelle is fairly opposite of that—nothing competitive about her, take it easy, artistic. Most of that is still true, though she has added some discipline to her life.
Before your children were of traditional school age, were you a stay at home mom or were you employed outside the home? At the time, how did you feel about that decision? How do you feel about it now?
In between. I have always been in ministry. When Debbie was born, I left my job as a magazine editor and
Director of Publications. It took me awhile to figure out who I was—I had been in that job for 14 years.
I continued to have some minor responsibilities with the ministry, plus I wrote a couple of books and began to do a lot of speaking. My mother-in-law moved nearby to help with the kids so I could do these things with more freedom. But my children were always my priority.
Looking back, I have no regrets. I believe God has called each of his children to be part of reaching out to others for His Kingdom. The way my children will know that is by seeing me live it out. I was able to include them in ministry, and much of my personal outreach was with their friends and their families. I don’t believe I slighted the needs of my family, so, no, I wouldn’t change my choice now.
Tell me about a difficult decision you remember making as a mom concerning one of your children. If you could do it over, would you make the same choice?
When Josh came to us, he had many needs. As he became a teenager, he made many bad choices, required lots of attention and supervision. My life became very focused on him, and that was difficult for the girls. I would not make the same choice—I would work much harder to keep better balance in being there for all three of them.
Tell me about something you feel you did ‘right’ as a mom.
Several things I think I did right: I was totally involved in their activities—Debbie and Josh played soccer for years; Michelle did for awhile. I became a coach to be with them. Michelle then turned to her real love—art—and I went to many art shows.
I read to them all the time!
I prayed for them so much!!!
And I just kept loving them—especially Josh, who for many years made it difficult to love him.
What were some of your family’s favorite meals that you served? Would you mind sharing any of those recipes? (Follow linked text for recipes!)
Peach cobbler was always a favorite.
Texas BBQ Brisket—just made it for Josh’s birthday this week.
Serve my Texas cornbread with that.
Most of my cooking is pretty Texan, but every Christmas morning I made Swedish pancakes for my Swedish husband—the kids still love them.
And they still love the taco pie my mother made and I made.
Did you establish or follow any family traditions with your children that you especially cherished… then or now? Tell me about a few of your favorites.
Celebrate with the angels: Whenever any one of us had the privilege of being a part of someone coming to know Christ, we had a celebrate with the angels party. We lit our angel candles, talked about the fact there was a party in heaven because of a new child of God, and thanked God for the privilege. Then we had a treat—sometimes peach cobbler.
Christmas has lots of traditions—chili and tamales on Christmas Eve, Swedish pancakes Christmas morning, and turkey and cornbread dressing and all for Christmas dinner. We opened gifts Christmas Eve, then had stockings on Christmas morning. We still do that—and everyone looks forward to the surprises in their stockings.
How did you celebrate birthdays with your children?
We started with family parties. When they got to be about 4, we started to have kids come over—about 1 per year of age. Playing soccer grew that number, because we often had a whole team over for a sleepover.
Usually we had a meal, then a dessert—sometimes a cake, but no one in our family is really a cake fan. So sometimes ice cream cake, or a cookie cake, or peach cobbler.
Now we have a birthday dinner for the honored one. Usually I make it. They choose it.
And we are doing it again with the grandkids. I have to restrain my gift giving, though.
What were some of your family’s favorite things to do together when you had preschoolers? Elementary-school age children? High schoolers? Now?
We tried to do a family vacation each year—beach, mountains, fishing, hiking. We are now trying to do it every other year—it so much harder when you have all those in-laws to consider, and people have real jobs and can’t get off work.
We did so many slumber parties—mostly with soccer teams. It was a great time to love on all those kids and sometimes to talk with them about the Lord.
What memories of their youth do you think your children recall most fondly now?
Two things stand out, besides those already mentioned:
We often went to my family’s farm in East Texas. The kids wish we had something like that now. Horses, ATV’s, driving the truck, fishing, hunting, chasing cows, painting on the pump house walls, midnight walks through the woods. And lots of good eating. Picking blackberries and shelling black-eyed peas.
Equally memorable is every other summer in Ft Collins, CO for the CCC biannual staff conference. Not only did we have fun running around Colorado—hiking, waterskiing, whitewater rafting, but each summer there they got renew friendships from around the nation and make new friends. During the conference, we had a wonderful children’s program and teen’s program. When Debbie got married, she talked her new husband into coming to the conference for a few days—she had never missed and didn’t want to. Now they are on staff, so their kids are enjoying the same experience.
Is there anything about your parenting that you are especially proud of? What is it?
I think I was—and still am—really good at encouraging my kids—that they are special, that they can do it—whatever it is. They tell me they learned about saying thank you to God in all circumstances and please forgive me to them when I blew it. And I think I mostly did a good job of living an authentic walk with God in front of them.
Is there anything about your parenting that you now regret? Do you mind sharing that with us?
I am not a strong disciplinarian. I don’t think that is all bad, but I think I could have used more consistent consequences for them. I just like people to make right choices, do the right thing, and I was annoyed when they didn’t. Be assured, there was discipline and there were consequences, but I was not always consistent and could be pretty wussy.
And as I said, I regret letting the needs of our son steal so much of my attention from the girls.
When your children were very young, did you have any hobbies you enjoyed just for yourself? If so, what were they?
Probably my only hobby at that time was reading. I tried hard to make sure I got time to read.
If you could give newer moms three pieces of advice, what would they be?
Keep God first in your heart.
Love and enjoy your husband.
Pray for your kids all the time.
Relax, laugh, enjoy your children. It really goes by so fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is there a question I haven’t asked that you would like to answer?
I strongly believe that God has called every one of his children to be on His kingdom building team. That should permeate every area of my life. Including my parenting. I need to live out before them what it means to walk with God, to love Him and serve Him, to reach out to others in many ways. I need to teach it and model it. Therefore I must be careful with these little disciples to not let them think the world/my world revolves only around them. Or they won’t get it—it’s about letting God love people through me. Sure, they are my first priority ministry. But sometimes another’s needs will take precedence. They need to be exposed to the opportunities to love and care and share Christ with many people in different places.
(I wrote a whole book about this—What Can a Mother Do? An updated revision will be out summer 2011.)
Thanks for giving me this opportunity. I love talking about all this.
Thank you, Judy, for taking the time to share your beautiful and inspiring stories with us. I tremendously appreciate it!
To read more about a few of Judy’s projects, visit:
Did anything Judy shared strike you especially? If so, what? (Aside from all those delicious recipes!!!)
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